I've never been much of an A-rod fan. It's not because of his controversial personality, or his admission of pervasive steroid use (thankfully sparing us of an Oprah interview). As a result, I'm not a great follower of his exploits with the exception of when he's glaringly bad in the playoffs.
2012 was a prime example as his performance at the plate was far below average, and he was subsequently benched or removed from the line-up completely.
When the Yankees finally revealed the culprit and pivotal cause of his failures, my ears perked up. I suddenly became very interested in the player I once regarded with as much enthusiasm as doing my taxes.
A-Rod needed left hip surgery. And better still, his surgeon was the same one I had used for the same ailment - - a torn labrum coupled with hip impingement.
For both A-Rod and I, the surgeon was Bryan Kelly, who practices at the Hospital for Special Surgery. The procedure is pretty straight forward. The first step is to either repair or remove the labrum. The labrum serves as a shock absorber around the femoral head otherwise known as the ball. The next step, if needed, is to shave or reshape the bone itself making for more fluid movement though the hip socket. This arthroscopic procedure has been perfected over the last decade making outcomes much more predictable.
Or does it?
After many years of ice and roller hockey, I was told by Dr. Kelly that I had a torn labrum and most likely a genetic disposition to a misshapen hip joint. I was also told that it could be fixed and that I should be able to return to most of my previous athletic activities.
When I woke up in recovery, Dr Kelly walked in with a blown up photo. It was a large circle which consisted of a few different colors. I asked how things went and he said very well. However, he wanted me to focus on the large yellow circle whose bandwidth encompassed about 85-90 percent of the circle. Dr. Kelly said that the yellow portion is arthritis and from a visual standpoint, the hip was basically shot.
What?!! Shot??!! I thought that's what the surgery was meant to avoid. He said that he had no way of knowing until "he was in there." However, he said that "you never know" and that I should follow through on about 6 months of difficult rehab. So, I did. During that time I was on pain killers, on crutches, and in tear inducing pain from tendinitis. At the end of my rehab stint, the hip was even worse than before. Eventually, I had the entire hip replaced.
Today, Yankees GM, Brian Cashman announced that there was a possibility that A-Rod may not be back in July. In fact, he may miss the entire season. Sound familiar?
Is it possible that A-Rod woke up as I did to a picture of the yellow circle? Did Dr. Kelly once again say that he can't truly predict the outcome of his procedure until he's "in there?" Was A-Rod told to do the rehab and hope for the best?
Brian Cashman's statement had a certain familiar ring to it. The ring of a man who was trying to hide the bad news he and his third baseman had just received. The sound of a career coming to an end.
I don't gamble on sports, but if I did, A-Rod would not be my horse. His prospects are dim. However, the fans won't find out until next year that A-Rod is not only sitting out 2013, but he'll be doing the same in 2014 and beyond.
The truth lies in the shadows. The same yellow shadow that most likely showed up on A-Rod's surgical picture. The Yankees can't admit they made a mistake, and neither can Dr. Kelly. It would kill too sterling reputations.
The next time you hear the name A-Rod, it will be about his retirement conference and the announcement that he needs a full hip replacement.
I wonder if he'll use my surgeon.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
The Free Agents
The most recent unemployment numbers have been released, and once again we process them as nothing more than mere statistics. But we know better. The 7 or 8 percent of the country that walks around with this label, and the countless others that have stepped out of the job search pool altoghter are not a faceless lot.
They are real people, and unfortunately, many are my friends. As I've spent my career in many facets of sales and marketing, so has this group. I've met them over various stages of my life including high school, college, summer share houses, and some were even co-workers. And I can say with conviction, that they all posses similar qualities: Hard work, pride, and expertise in their fields. But perhaps most importantly, they're all still very viable and extremely relevant.
It's for this very reason that I refuse to refer to them as "unemployed." In keeping with my tradition of incessant sports analogies, they're more like "free agents", or players without a current team. I often wish the rest of the country would adopt the same philosophy and drop the "unemployed" moniker for no other reason than to boost the spirits of the group and provide a consistent reminder that experience matters and someone will soon recognize it.
But lately I've been hearing about a common theme that has dogged the process. Many of my friends have hit a crossroads in their careers. They could continue along the same path in which they've travelled for the last two decades, or they could use their vast accumulated knowledge and try something different. Many of their industries have contracted, so venturing out into new territory seems like a viable option.
Unfortunately, most hiring companies won't allow it. They have the luxury of a huge free agent pool. If they have an open position, they can easily find someone that exactly matches their parameters. They're naturally risk averse. They don't like to gamble. If they do guess wrong, it may be their own jobs in jeopardy. So, they recycle and regurgitate a similar prototype, leaving new ideas and fresh perspectives on the curb.
Therefore, a healthcare marketer can't market real estate. A non-profit public relations exec can't cross the divide to a for profit organization. A television ad sales rep can't take a stab at selling online advertising. In the end, everyone loses. Good players looking for new teams, can't get contracts. And teams looking for new talent are stuck with clones of the old.
Why can't organizations see beyond this?
When buying a house, a real estate agent tells you to avoid focusing on the furniture and the decor. She advises you to see the home's aesthetic value and imagine your own spin on it. Thousands of homes are sold using this visualization technique and millions are transacted. However, the same rules don't seem to apply in the employment game. The majority of employers only see most job candidates as the house you currently are, and not the house you could become.
Digressing once again into sports, the same rules apply. If the Yankees adopted the approach, they may have missed out on one of their legends. Babe Ruth began as a very successful pitcher for the Red Sox. He won 20 games twice. One year he stuck out 170 batters without yielding a home run. In other words, he was well on his way to a hall of fame pitching career. But then he was traded to the Yankees, most likely for his throwing prowess. One day, they realized that they had something else in Ruth. A hitter. If the Yankees didn't give him a shot, Yankee Stadium may not be known as the "House That Ruth Built." Maybe his dominance as a pitcher gave him valuable insight into how a batter thinks. Maybe he already threw every pitch that could be thrown, putting himself and his mind's eye into a better position to hit them.
A similar phenomenon happened in music. Dave Grohl cut his rock and roll teeth as a drummer for Nirvana. His pounding style was a legendary part of the grunge movement that began at this time, led mostly by the group that he was in. But then Curt Cobain self destructed, bringing the band down with him. Picking up the pieces, Grohl could have joined a new band. Or start his own. He chose the later. The interesting thing was he didn't stay the course as a drummer. Grohl was quoted as saying:
"I was supposed to just join another band and be a drummer the rest of my life," Grohl later said. "I thought that I would rather do what no one expected me to do."
It looked good on paper, but why would a record label take a chance on a singing drummer playing guitar? They did, and the Foo Fighters became bigger than Nirvana.
I don't mean to delve into the world of Malcolm Gladwell, but you see my point. People surprise you. And experience matters. In these case studies, and so many others existing or yet to be written, the results can be the same.
When you hire someone who doesn't perfectly align with your job description, it's not risk. It's opportunity. You have to see beyond the old furniture in the house.
Our free agents are standing by, waiting for your call.
They are real people, and unfortunately, many are my friends. As I've spent my career in many facets of sales and marketing, so has this group. I've met them over various stages of my life including high school, college, summer share houses, and some were even co-workers. And I can say with conviction, that they all posses similar qualities: Hard work, pride, and expertise in their fields. But perhaps most importantly, they're all still very viable and extremely relevant.
It's for this very reason that I refuse to refer to them as "unemployed." In keeping with my tradition of incessant sports analogies, they're more like "free agents", or players without a current team. I often wish the rest of the country would adopt the same philosophy and drop the "unemployed" moniker for no other reason than to boost the spirits of the group and provide a consistent reminder that experience matters and someone will soon recognize it.
But lately I've been hearing about a common theme that has dogged the process. Many of my friends have hit a crossroads in their careers. They could continue along the same path in which they've travelled for the last two decades, or they could use their vast accumulated knowledge and try something different. Many of their industries have contracted, so venturing out into new territory seems like a viable option.
Unfortunately, most hiring companies won't allow it. They have the luxury of a huge free agent pool. If they have an open position, they can easily find someone that exactly matches their parameters. They're naturally risk averse. They don't like to gamble. If they do guess wrong, it may be their own jobs in jeopardy. So, they recycle and regurgitate a similar prototype, leaving new ideas and fresh perspectives on the curb.
Therefore, a healthcare marketer can't market real estate. A non-profit public relations exec can't cross the divide to a for profit organization. A television ad sales rep can't take a stab at selling online advertising. In the end, everyone loses. Good players looking for new teams, can't get contracts. And teams looking for new talent are stuck with clones of the old.
Why can't organizations see beyond this?
When buying a house, a real estate agent tells you to avoid focusing on the furniture and the decor. She advises you to see the home's aesthetic value and imagine your own spin on it. Thousands of homes are sold using this visualization technique and millions are transacted. However, the same rules don't seem to apply in the employment game. The majority of employers only see most job candidates as the house you currently are, and not the house you could become.
Digressing once again into sports, the same rules apply. If the Yankees adopted the approach, they may have missed out on one of their legends. Babe Ruth began as a very successful pitcher for the Red Sox. He won 20 games twice. One year he stuck out 170 batters without yielding a home run. In other words, he was well on his way to a hall of fame pitching career. But then he was traded to the Yankees, most likely for his throwing prowess. One day, they realized that they had something else in Ruth. A hitter. If the Yankees didn't give him a shot, Yankee Stadium may not be known as the "House That Ruth Built." Maybe his dominance as a pitcher gave him valuable insight into how a batter thinks. Maybe he already threw every pitch that could be thrown, putting himself and his mind's eye into a better position to hit them.
A similar phenomenon happened in music. Dave Grohl cut his rock and roll teeth as a drummer for Nirvana. His pounding style was a legendary part of the grunge movement that began at this time, led mostly by the group that he was in. But then Curt Cobain self destructed, bringing the band down with him. Picking up the pieces, Grohl could have joined a new band. Or start his own. He chose the later. The interesting thing was he didn't stay the course as a drummer. Grohl was quoted as saying:
"I was supposed to just join another band and be a drummer the rest of my life," Grohl later said. "I thought that I would rather do what no one expected me to do."
It looked good on paper, but why would a record label take a chance on a singing drummer playing guitar? They did, and the Foo Fighters became bigger than Nirvana.
I don't mean to delve into the world of Malcolm Gladwell, but you see my point. People surprise you. And experience matters. In these case studies, and so many others existing or yet to be written, the results can be the same.
When you hire someone who doesn't perfectly align with your job description, it's not risk. It's opportunity. You have to see beyond the old furniture in the house.
Our free agents are standing by, waiting for your call.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Fearless Predictions for 2013
It's the first day of the new year, and you can't help but look back for just a moment. If you ponder the accumulation of events that shaped the last twelve months, you'll soon see that many were not to be believed. In fact, most of them defy all predictability and logic.
Therefore, what do I have to lose?
Here are my Nostradamus-like predictions for 2013. And like a broken clock, at occasional times, I'm bound to get a few of these right:
TECHNOLOGY
As they say in show business, "you ain't seen nothing yet." And a result, expect to pay more. There's no better place to start than Facebook. The King of the Social Media Highway will begin charging a toll for all those who pass through. It's uncertain where it will stem from, but consider this a warning and keep your itchy trigger fingers away from the "Like" and "Upload Photo" buttons.
In addition, expect Apple to infiltrate your body. Not internally, unless they come up with the iColonoscopy. This version will most likely be something that you can wear. As the iOS platform can be easily inserted in most places, expect some version of a watch, belt, or even glasses. And as usual, you'll feel that you HAVE to have it AND be amongst the first.
In other news, expect Twitter to go public. What does this mean for you? Not too much unless you own the stock. And if you do, anticipate that your portfolio will go down. If you need a case study, see Facebook, Groupon, and Zynga.
WALL STREET
I won't make any grandiose predictions on the Fiscal Cliff, but there are a couple of things we do know for sure. Higher income individuals will be taxed at a higher level. Capital gains taxes will be on the rise. And some loopholes for the top 1% will be closed, including estate tax exemptions. That only means 2 things for Wall Street:
More Cheating and Stealing
When you get lemons on Wall Street, you don't make lemonade. You cut to the chase and steal someone else's lemonade. Let's see, we had junk bonds, inflated oil prices, subprime mortgages. There must be something left to exploit. Maybe silver. They haven't tried that yet. So hold on to your dental fillings. Wall Street is eerily similar to casinos. When the profit margin on blackjack and poker begins to dwindle, you just create better odds and give blackjack and poker new labels. Some things never change. Because when it comes to casinos or Wall Street, the house always wins.
MOVIES
We're running out of superheroes that don't already have their own movie, although Supergirl is still available. But beyond these laborious films, you can expect more Judd Apatow look-a-likes that will be only slightly worse than their already dreadful predecessors. They'll be released from January through September, once again leaving the really good films for the final months of the year. In addition, the window between theatrical release and "video" release will grow even shorter and more films will go straight to VOD. Eventually all the films you'll ever want to see in a given year will be in the theaters and on VOD from Thanksgiving through Christmas.
And one more thing. Animated movies will continue to reign supreme for overall storytelling.
COLLEGE EXPENSES
A recent Wall Street Journal study of the University of Minnesota showed that the number of administrators making between 200K and 400K had grown exponentially over the last 5 years. Keep in mind that these people aren't even professors that already make their own pretty penny. To make matters worse, their student body hasn't risen during an equal period of time. I suspect most colleges have similar ratios.
Incredibly, the government is distracted with entitlements and tax breaks; therefore forgetting about these inflated college costs which eventually turn into individual debt. If you have more than 1 child, you may as well sit them down now and explain how interest works because they'll be paying it well into retirement.
EMPLOYMENT
"Some fly by day....some fly by night...." Remember the theme from Moonlighting? Even if you don't, that's what you can expect to be doing next year. Expenses are rising; salaries aren't. Many are still unemployed, and those who were lucky enough to find their way back in are taking less money. The math just doesn't add up. So expect to look for multiple revenue streams to keep pace. Consulting, tutoring, waitering...whatever. We're all going to need the money.
TELEVISION
Just the mere term, "television" has taken on a multitude of meanings. In the past, television referred to a specific device, in your home, that multiple people gathered around to watch. This anachronistic scene was just a few short years ago. Now, thanks to mobile devices and multiple distribution systems, television viewing has become much more individualized, increasingly personalized, and viewed on much smaller screens.
As for the future, expect more of the same. Cable companies will be forced to consider re-packaging in a way that will cater towards individual viewing habits. However, this will not lead to the proliferation of more channels. Just the opposite. Carriage fees are already through the roof, so systems will want to pass on less, not more. However, expect news and sports channel programming to increase. For now and forever, people will be attracted to the immediacy and informative nature of both.
TRAVEL/AUTOS
Cars are getting safer every year, where even the least expensive have the latest in safety features and technology. That's good news for consumers. However, the future varies for each manufacturer. Toyota just wrote a billion dollar check for something they didn't even admit to. I'd expect a major push to win back some of that cash. Honda improves on their Accord in every generation, and Ford remains the high tech leader in the low to mid range space. The upscale manufacturers will continue to duke it out, but Audi has separated itself from the commoners and will continue to nitpick at BMW and Mercedes forcing them to play defense.
Moving to the air, the airlines have consolidated and charged enough for your bags over the last few years to begin giving something back to the consumer. It probably won't be in the form of cash, but upgraded planes with Wi-fi, and fancy new terminals at key airports will be their way of saying thank you for getting ripped off in the good name of our solvency.
POLITICS
This one is always a wild card. 2012 was a year to remember in this regard, but even without a Presidential election, 2013 is already off to the races. There are a ton of big decisions to be made that will have an impact on us all. The bottom-line is, expect to lose a little. That's the essence of any negotiation. You'll pay more in taxes, probably have fewer entitlements, and most likely not get enough satisfaction in any changes in gun control.
Politics is a lot like Chinese Food. You're happy you ate, you just can't figure out why you're hungry an hour later.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
So what do you predict for the upcoming year? Don't be shy. The beauty is, it's too early to be wrong.
Therefore, what do I have to lose?
Here are my Nostradamus-like predictions for 2013. And like a broken clock, at occasional times, I'm bound to get a few of these right:
TECHNOLOGY
As they say in show business, "you ain't seen nothing yet." And a result, expect to pay more. There's no better place to start than Facebook. The King of the Social Media Highway will begin charging a toll for all those who pass through. It's uncertain where it will stem from, but consider this a warning and keep your itchy trigger fingers away from the "Like" and "Upload Photo" buttons.
In addition, expect Apple to infiltrate your body. Not internally, unless they come up with the iColonoscopy. This version will most likely be something that you can wear. As the iOS platform can be easily inserted in most places, expect some version of a watch, belt, or even glasses. And as usual, you'll feel that you HAVE to have it AND be amongst the first.
In other news, expect Twitter to go public. What does this mean for you? Not too much unless you own the stock. And if you do, anticipate that your portfolio will go down. If you need a case study, see Facebook, Groupon, and Zynga.
WALL STREET
I won't make any grandiose predictions on the Fiscal Cliff, but there are a couple of things we do know for sure. Higher income individuals will be taxed at a higher level. Capital gains taxes will be on the rise. And some loopholes for the top 1% will be closed, including estate tax exemptions. That only means 2 things for Wall Street:
More Cheating and Stealing
When you get lemons on Wall Street, you don't make lemonade. You cut to the chase and steal someone else's lemonade. Let's see, we had junk bonds, inflated oil prices, subprime mortgages. There must be something left to exploit. Maybe silver. They haven't tried that yet. So hold on to your dental fillings. Wall Street is eerily similar to casinos. When the profit margin on blackjack and poker begins to dwindle, you just create better odds and give blackjack and poker new labels. Some things never change. Because when it comes to casinos or Wall Street, the house always wins.
MOVIES
We're running out of superheroes that don't already have their own movie, although Supergirl is still available. But beyond these laborious films, you can expect more Judd Apatow look-a-likes that will be only slightly worse than their already dreadful predecessors. They'll be released from January through September, once again leaving the really good films for the final months of the year. In addition, the window between theatrical release and "video" release will grow even shorter and more films will go straight to VOD. Eventually all the films you'll ever want to see in a given year will be in the theaters and on VOD from Thanksgiving through Christmas.
And one more thing. Animated movies will continue to reign supreme for overall storytelling.
COLLEGE EXPENSES
A recent Wall Street Journal study of the University of Minnesota showed that the number of administrators making between 200K and 400K had grown exponentially over the last 5 years. Keep in mind that these people aren't even professors that already make their own pretty penny. To make matters worse, their student body hasn't risen during an equal period of time. I suspect most colleges have similar ratios.
Incredibly, the government is distracted with entitlements and tax breaks; therefore forgetting about these inflated college costs which eventually turn into individual debt. If you have more than 1 child, you may as well sit them down now and explain how interest works because they'll be paying it well into retirement.
EMPLOYMENT
"Some fly by day....some fly by night...." Remember the theme from Moonlighting? Even if you don't, that's what you can expect to be doing next year. Expenses are rising; salaries aren't. Many are still unemployed, and those who were lucky enough to find their way back in are taking less money. The math just doesn't add up. So expect to look for multiple revenue streams to keep pace. Consulting, tutoring, waitering...whatever. We're all going to need the money.
TELEVISION
Just the mere term, "television" has taken on a multitude of meanings. In the past, television referred to a specific device, in your home, that multiple people gathered around to watch. This anachronistic scene was just a few short years ago. Now, thanks to mobile devices and multiple distribution systems, television viewing has become much more individualized, increasingly personalized, and viewed on much smaller screens.
As for the future, expect more of the same. Cable companies will be forced to consider re-packaging in a way that will cater towards individual viewing habits. However, this will not lead to the proliferation of more channels. Just the opposite. Carriage fees are already through the roof, so systems will want to pass on less, not more. However, expect news and sports channel programming to increase. For now and forever, people will be attracted to the immediacy and informative nature of both.
TRAVEL/AUTOS
Cars are getting safer every year, where even the least expensive have the latest in safety features and technology. That's good news for consumers. However, the future varies for each manufacturer. Toyota just wrote a billion dollar check for something they didn't even admit to. I'd expect a major push to win back some of that cash. Honda improves on their Accord in every generation, and Ford remains the high tech leader in the low to mid range space. The upscale manufacturers will continue to duke it out, but Audi has separated itself from the commoners and will continue to nitpick at BMW and Mercedes forcing them to play defense.
Moving to the air, the airlines have consolidated and charged enough for your bags over the last few years to begin giving something back to the consumer. It probably won't be in the form of cash, but upgraded planes with Wi-fi, and fancy new terminals at key airports will be their way of saying thank you for getting ripped off in the good name of our solvency.
POLITICS
This one is always a wild card. 2012 was a year to remember in this regard, but even without a Presidential election, 2013 is already off to the races. There are a ton of big decisions to be made that will have an impact on us all. The bottom-line is, expect to lose a little. That's the essence of any negotiation. You'll pay more in taxes, probably have fewer entitlements, and most likely not get enough satisfaction in any changes in gun control.
Politics is a lot like Chinese Food. You're happy you ate, you just can't figure out why you're hungry an hour later.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
So what do you predict for the upcoming year? Don't be shy. The beauty is, it's too early to be wrong.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Observations from 2012
As this will be one of my last blogs of the year, I'll keep with my custom (if 3 years qualifies as a custom) and share my random musings about the last 12 months:
I should have known the Mayans wouldn't get it right. They also picked the Jets to make the playoffs......
Considering Steven Spielberg's ability to tell a story, I thought "Lincoln" would have had a different ending....
2012 was so bad, I wish it could have ended in June.....
You know there's something wrong with our priorities when "Gangnam Style" was web searched more than "Korea tests nuclear bombs"........
The most recent hurricane and my ex Mother-in-Law are now 2 reasons for me to dislike the name "Sandy".....
While we're on the subject of gun control, let's add water guns to the list. I hate when the kids spray me in the face.....
Could you imagine if they produced "We are the World" today? It just wouldn't be the same with Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato, Rihanna, and Katy Perry.......
If Apple made an iPad Mini mini...it would be called an iPhone.......
The Fiscal Cliff would have been settled years ago if we had better rock climbers.....
Activision needs to make a public statement saying that "Call of Duty" isn't an instruction manual.....
It's been reported that Facebook can capture personal search data after you hit the "Like" button.....I don't like this....
The word "tablet" has a whole new meaning today.....when I was a kid, it referred to medication.....
People are getting more passive-aggressive. It's even in our music. That's why Carly Rae Jepson says, "Call Me......Maybe....."
I discovered very quickly that it's cheaper to buy Lucky Charms than Pandora's charms.....
EZ-Pass is still great. But I think they should change the name of the cash lane to "Dumb-Ass.".....
If online dating is filled with people who are well-educated, happy, well-travelled, financially sound, intellectual, and fun.....why do they all need dates?
Woody Allen once said that "the last time he was inside a woman, he was in the Statue of Liberty." I don't remember the last time I was in the Statue of Liberty.....
Mayor Bloomberg couldn't have picked two more unrelated targets......Guns and Soda......
Politicians keep telling us to look on the bright side....that's hard to do with their heads in their asses......
Amazingly, my divorce was shorter than the fighting in the Middle East....
Instagram didn't turn a profit, had only 13 employees, but sold for a billion dollars....they didn't teach me how to do that in college....
Thanks to Mitt Romney, Big Bird became more popular than Larry Bird.....
A-rod will soon need a rod in his hip......
On New Years Eve, New York shouldn't drop a ball, but instead something we'd like to get rid of....like our Blackberrys....
HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR TO ALL...
I should have known the Mayans wouldn't get it right. They also picked the Jets to make the playoffs......
Considering Steven Spielberg's ability to tell a story, I thought "Lincoln" would have had a different ending....
2012 was so bad, I wish it could have ended in June.....
You know there's something wrong with our priorities when "Gangnam Style" was web searched more than "Korea tests nuclear bombs"........
The most recent hurricane and my ex Mother-in-Law are now 2 reasons for me to dislike the name "Sandy".....
While we're on the subject of gun control, let's add water guns to the list. I hate when the kids spray me in the face.....
Could you imagine if they produced "We are the World" today? It just wouldn't be the same with Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato, Rihanna, and Katy Perry.......
If Apple made an iPad Mini mini...it would be called an iPhone.......
The Fiscal Cliff would have been settled years ago if we had better rock climbers.....
Activision needs to make a public statement saying that "Call of Duty" isn't an instruction manual.....
It's been reported that Facebook can capture personal search data after you hit the "Like" button.....I don't like this....
The word "tablet" has a whole new meaning today.....when I was a kid, it referred to medication.....
People are getting more passive-aggressive. It's even in our music. That's why Carly Rae Jepson says, "Call Me......Maybe....."
I discovered very quickly that it's cheaper to buy Lucky Charms than Pandora's charms.....
EZ-Pass is still great. But I think they should change the name of the cash lane to "Dumb-Ass.".....
If online dating is filled with people who are well-educated, happy, well-travelled, financially sound, intellectual, and fun.....why do they all need dates?
Woody Allen once said that "the last time he was inside a woman, he was in the Statue of Liberty." I don't remember the last time I was in the Statue of Liberty.....
Mayor Bloomberg couldn't have picked two more unrelated targets......Guns and Soda......
Politicians keep telling us to look on the bright side....that's hard to do with their heads in their asses......
Amazingly, my divorce was shorter than the fighting in the Middle East....
Instagram didn't turn a profit, had only 13 employees, but sold for a billion dollars....they didn't teach me how to do that in college....
Thanks to Mitt Romney, Big Bird became more popular than Larry Bird.....
A-rod will soon need a rod in his hip......
On New Years Eve, New York shouldn't drop a ball, but instead something we'd like to get rid of....like our Blackberrys....
HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR TO ALL...
Saturday, December 15, 2012
A Halo Over Newtown
A country mourns and will continue mourning over the unimaginable shootings that took place and took lives in an elementary school in Connecticut.
Facebook, Twitter, radio and television talk shows have lit up with thousands of people giving their opinions on what measures need to be taken to prevent acts like this from ever happening again.
Thus far, I've heard plenty about gun control which has seemed blatantly obvious since Columbine. However, politics has reigned king on this one and may continue to do so. I've even read a few more militant solutions which call for more guns in the form of security guards and policeman in schools and in other public places.
And then, similar to the anti-cigarette lobby, Hollywood was vehemently attacked for making R-rated films that glorify blood, guts, and killers that all suffer from severe psychological disorders with access to guns.
As for me, I've begun to realize that a different culprit lies in the shadows at places like Best Buy, Gamestop, and Target. And that's where you can find games like Halo and Grand Theft Auto. Despite the warnings on their labels about being appropriate for older children, many parents buy them for their pre-tween and tween boys.
I know this seems trite and an easy solution to explain away these violent acts, but let's look a little deeper and under the epidermis of these mass killings. The recent shooter in Newtown was found wearing a military vest that held significant ammunition, as well as several guns, including an assault rifle. In the mall shooting in Oregon the gunman was wearing another load-bearing vest which is a military style garment meant for carrying heavy equipment. The shooter at a movie theater in Colorado was wearing a helmet, vest, leggings, groin and throat protector. It was then that I remembered seeing a recent ad for the latest version of "Halo," and then the picture became even clearer.
Let me share a few stats with you. The game Halo is currently in it's fourth generation. The third version did $170 million in sales on it's first day, and Halo 4 surpassed that number with $220 million during it's debut. In total, these games have now made $3.4 billion for.....Microsoft, maker of Xbox.
Just ask yourself why deranged killers that walk into movie theaters, malls, and schools need all this weaponry and equipment to fight against defenseless patrons, teachers, and school children. F
irst, there isn't a threat. So no one's going to fire back. Masking yourself is also a fruitless exercise because in an abundant number of these cases, the shooter kills himself afterwards. Therefore, they're hiding from no one. The weapons themselves have predominantly been those used by the military and not civilians leading me to this solitary belief:
THESE KILLERS BELIEVE THAT THEY'RE IN A VIDEO GAME THAT DOESN'T REALLY EXIST
So, what can we do to stop it? Can you stand in front of Microsoft in Seattle and demand answers? Can we force Bill Gates or Steve Ballmer to invest enough money into the anti-gun lobby to move the needle? Will they ever stop making games like this?
Here are the short answers to the test. NO, NO, and NO.
But here's what we can do:
1- If you have a child that borders on having any diagnosed psychological condition, particularly those that are on medication, you should not be allowed to legally or morally purchase these games.
2- If you legally own a handgun, rifle, assault weapon, or whatever, you should be on a list and be banned from owning this game or those like it.
3- This one is for Hollywood. Do not make any more movies about Halo or any facsimile video game.
4- If your child exhibits violent tendencies, or is on medication to curb any behavioral disorder, it is the parents' responsibility to keep him out of any movies that glorify gun violence.
You need more proof of the connection? The killers are all male, and are all in their early 20's. They just had several years in front of their X-boxes and their movies watching how to execute. Studying, learning. These kids must be taken away from these screens. Not tomorrow, but today. Very few people decide to pick up a hobby like violent video games and movies in their 20's. They had years of practice. So, by the time they're of age, the guns are loaded and ready.
I don't know how to make this point any clearer. We can scream from rooftops, blast social media with our desires, solicit our congressman and we'll barely move the needle. But take children away from a world of fantasy where you kill for points and you'll make a difference.
Like most things in life, change begins at home.
I know this seems trite and an easy solution to explain away these violent acts, but let's look a little deeper and under the epidermis of these mass killings. The recent shooter in Newtown was found wearing a military vest that held significant ammunition, as well as several guns, including an assault rifle. In the mall shooting in Oregon the gunman was wearing another load-bearing vest which is a military style garment meant for carrying heavy equipment. The shooter at a movie theater in Colorado was wearing a helmet, vest, leggings, groin and throat protector. It was then that I remembered seeing a recent ad for the latest version of "Halo," and then the picture became even clearer.
Let me share a few stats with you. The game Halo is currently in it's fourth generation. The third version did $170 million in sales on it's first day, and Halo 4 surpassed that number with $220 million during it's debut. In total, these games have now made $3.4 billion for.....Microsoft, maker of Xbox.
Just ask yourself why deranged killers that walk into movie theaters, malls, and schools need all this weaponry and equipment to fight against defenseless patrons, teachers, and school children. F
THESE KILLERS BELIEVE THAT THEY'RE IN A VIDEO GAME THAT DOESN'T REALLY EXIST
So, what can we do to stop it? Can you stand in front of Microsoft in Seattle and demand answers? Can we force Bill Gates or Steve Ballmer to invest enough money into the anti-gun lobby to move the needle? Will they ever stop making games like this?
Here are the short answers to the test. NO, NO, and NO.
But here's what we can do:
1- If you have a child that borders on having any diagnosed psychological condition, particularly those that are on medication, you should not be allowed to legally or morally purchase these games.
2- If you legally own a handgun, rifle, assault weapon, or whatever, you should be on a list and be banned from owning this game or those like it.
3- This one is for Hollywood. Do not make any more movies about Halo or any facsimile video game.
4- If your child exhibits violent tendencies, or is on medication to curb any behavioral disorder, it is the parents' responsibility to keep him out of any movies that glorify gun violence.
You need more proof of the connection? The killers are all male, and are all in their early 20's. They just had several years in front of their X-boxes and their movies watching how to execute. Studying, learning. These kids must be taken away from these screens. Not tomorrow, but today. Very few people decide to pick up a hobby like violent video games and movies in their 20's. They had years of practice. So, by the time they're of age, the guns are loaded and ready.
I don't know how to make this point any clearer. We can scream from rooftops, blast social media with our desires, solicit our congressman and we'll barely move the needle. But take children away from a world of fantasy where you kill for points and you'll make a difference.
Like most things in life, change begins at home.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
The Best Buys
By now, you've probably been rendered black and blue by Black Friday and most likely a little sore from Cyber Monday. And I can understand it. After all, you've just been bombarded with promotion from all sides with titles like "for a limited time", "just this weekend", and "while supplies last" enticing you to part with your money before it's too late.
The question that we really have to ask is not how much we've saved, but what we've truly gotten for our money. Because more often that not, we are overpaying. Not in a monetary sense. We're overpaying based on what these items are truly worth to us.
Take a smart phone for instance. The physical device usually costs about $200 bucks minimum. Then, you have to pay for the monthly data plan. So for just year one, you've dropped almost a thousand dollars to mostly text your friends, look at pictures on Facebook and Instagram, and oh yeah, occasionally make a phone call. Before long, the next exciting new phone is released which you have to have, and the process starts all over again.
So before you drop a bundle on what you think gives you back everything that you put in, consider that there are actually several other gifts you can buy or upgrade this holiday season that will hold its value much longer than most.
For instance, furniture. On the surface, this is one of the most expensive categories you can delve into. Or is it? If you want to furnish an entire room with couches, chairs, ottomans, coffee tables, and more, it's possible to drop several thousand dollars before you can blink. That sounds expensive. And it is. That's why furniture retailers are always touting interest free financing for a year. It softens the blow. But the truth is that most of your recently bought furniture could easily sit in your living room or den for at least a decade, turning your investment into just $1000 per year or under $100 per month. Under $100 so you can entertain, showcase a room, watch your big screen tv, have family game night and more. Let's see a Droid do that.
Another amazing deal that never seems that way at the time is music. A song on iTunes costs $1.29. Some of us are pissed because many of these songs used to be just .99 cents. The nerve of Apple! But in reality, we drop a little under the cost of a Metro Card swipe, and we get something we really like....forever. That's right. You can use it as many times as you like and it never gets old. Not only that, but thanks to the Cloud and multiple mobile devices, you can take this song just about anywhere. How many times do you think you play a typical song over your lifetime? A few hundred? A thousand? If you amortized this and really did the math, Apple would owe you money.
Now that we're headed into the winter, a lot of us will wear a wide selection of coats and jackets. You need one for the football game, and another for skiing. An over coat for work, but a casual wool coat for the weekend. So, when you look in your closet, you realize that you've had many of these items for years. Many of them may have cost between $500 and $2000, and you cringed at the cash register. But if you think about how many days you've worn them, it may turn out to be just $1 a day. You'll have to periodically buy a new one here and there, but don't hesitate. It's the best deal in your closet.
At the start of the new year, several of us will join new health clubs to coincide with a resolution we'll never keep. Gyms are getting fancier than ever with spa-like locker rooms and lap pools. After the tour, they break the news that you have to pay a membership fee and then close to $100 per month or $1200 per year. While at the gym, you'll use treadmills, bikes, and ellipticals. You may use the pool. You'll work on nautilus machines and lift free weights. If you had all this equipment in your house, it would probably be over $15,000. Some of the machines would eventually break, and you'd be responsible for fixing it. At the gym, you just move to a different machine. When you calculate the added health benefit of the exercise, there may be no better deal in the world.
The last very valuable item that consumers consistently bitch about is the cost of their phone/internet/cable package. Everyone moans about the monthly cost and switches their provider every one or two years to get the best deal. In the end, they settle around $150 per month or about $2,000 per year. For this price, you can stay on the phone for an unlimited amount of time with anyone in the country. You can access the internet with lightning speed which in turn gives you access to Facebook, iTunes, You Tube, Google, Yahoo, and Netflix. When you have HBO and Showtime, you can watch high quality shows without commercials and on multiple devices. With the right set up, you can even view the internet on your television, or make a phone call on the internet. In terms of data communication and entertainment, there really isn't anything you can't do. So is $2000 per year really a bad deal to have your entire life On Demand?
So, the next time you think you've found the perfect gift for the perfect price, remember that the best deals out there are already sitting in your house.
The question that we really have to ask is not how much we've saved, but what we've truly gotten for our money. Because more often that not, we are overpaying. Not in a monetary sense. We're overpaying based on what these items are truly worth to us.
Take a smart phone for instance. The physical device usually costs about $200 bucks minimum. Then, you have to pay for the monthly data plan. So for just year one, you've dropped almost a thousand dollars to mostly text your friends, look at pictures on Facebook and Instagram, and oh yeah, occasionally make a phone call. Before long, the next exciting new phone is released which you have to have, and the process starts all over again.
So before you drop a bundle on what you think gives you back everything that you put in, consider that there are actually several other gifts you can buy or upgrade this holiday season that will hold its value much longer than most.
For instance, furniture. On the surface, this is one of the most expensive categories you can delve into. Or is it? If you want to furnish an entire room with couches, chairs, ottomans, coffee tables, and more, it's possible to drop several thousand dollars before you can blink. That sounds expensive. And it is. That's why furniture retailers are always touting interest free financing for a year. It softens the blow. But the truth is that most of your recently bought furniture could easily sit in your living room or den for at least a decade, turning your investment into just $1000 per year or under $100 per month. Under $100 so you can entertain, showcase a room, watch your big screen tv, have family game night and more. Let's see a Droid do that.
Another amazing deal that never seems that way at the time is music. A song on iTunes costs $1.29. Some of us are pissed because many of these songs used to be just .99 cents. The nerve of Apple! But in reality, we drop a little under the cost of a Metro Card swipe, and we get something we really like....forever. That's right. You can use it as many times as you like and it never gets old. Not only that, but thanks to the Cloud and multiple mobile devices, you can take this song just about anywhere. How many times do you think you play a typical song over your lifetime? A few hundred? A thousand? If you amortized this and really did the math, Apple would owe you money.
Now that we're headed into the winter, a lot of us will wear a wide selection of coats and jackets. You need one for the football game, and another for skiing. An over coat for work, but a casual wool coat for the weekend. So, when you look in your closet, you realize that you've had many of these items for years. Many of them may have cost between $500 and $2000, and you cringed at the cash register. But if you think about how many days you've worn them, it may turn out to be just $1 a day. You'll have to periodically buy a new one here and there, but don't hesitate. It's the best deal in your closet.
At the start of the new year, several of us will join new health clubs to coincide with a resolution we'll never keep. Gyms are getting fancier than ever with spa-like locker rooms and lap pools. After the tour, they break the news that you have to pay a membership fee and then close to $100 per month or $1200 per year. While at the gym, you'll use treadmills, bikes, and ellipticals. You may use the pool. You'll work on nautilus machines and lift free weights. If you had all this equipment in your house, it would probably be over $15,000. Some of the machines would eventually break, and you'd be responsible for fixing it. At the gym, you just move to a different machine. When you calculate the added health benefit of the exercise, there may be no better deal in the world.
The last very valuable item that consumers consistently bitch about is the cost of their phone/internet/cable package. Everyone moans about the monthly cost and switches their provider every one or two years to get the best deal. In the end, they settle around $150 per month or about $2,000 per year. For this price, you can stay on the phone for an unlimited amount of time with anyone in the country. You can access the internet with lightning speed which in turn gives you access to Facebook, iTunes, You Tube, Google, Yahoo, and Netflix. When you have HBO and Showtime, you can watch high quality shows without commercials and on multiple devices. With the right set up, you can even view the internet on your television, or make a phone call on the internet. In terms of data communication and entertainment, there really isn't anything you can't do. So is $2000 per year really a bad deal to have your entire life On Demand?
So, the next time you think you've found the perfect gift for the perfect price, remember that the best deals out there are already sitting in your house.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Knocked Hockey
For most people, Thanksgiving is defined by the the 3 F's:
Family, Food, and Football
As for me, I've always focused on the first two. Because unlike the rest of the free world, I'm just not that into football. In some houses, this belief system would force me into a time-out in the corner, or be relegated to the kitchen and speak to some of the ladies about Rachael Ray, or some reality show on the Food Network. So be it.
I looked forward to Thanksgiving so I could watch hockey. That's right. A Canadian sport. And yes, from that northern country that celebrates Boxing Day instead of Thanksgiving. I'd rather watch two players throw their helmets and gloves off and duke it out rather than watch a guy pummel a helpless player catching a pass in mid-field. Hey, we all have our preferences.
But now, yet again, I will be without hockey on Thanksgiving. For this, I can give thanks to yet another NHL lockout; the second in just eight years. My fear is that this one is going to last well beyond Thanksgiving. I don't think I'll even see a puck drop by Christmas. Therefore, I must prepare for the worst and find different activities that replace the adrenaline rush I used to get from watching these toothless warriors skate around.
The first thing I need to solve is replacing violence in a skating arena. For that, I'm going to You Tube to watch the footage of the Nancy Kerrigan and Tanya Harding incident. Boy, I would love to have seen those two duke it out on the ice. My money's on Tanya.
I've always had an affinity for the goalies in hockey, and you just don't get a chance to see them every day. So, I think I'll download all the Halloween movies so I can see Jason in a classic Ken Dryden mask. I'm going to turn the volume down because he seems much less scary when you can't hear that foreboding music that just says, "look out behind you!"
It's hard to find a reason for people to use a hockey stick beyond, well, hockey. But I have a few ideas to put mine to good use. The first thing is to replace my broom. Brooms get dirty very quickly and cleaning them is even messier. (or should I say Messier?) Using a hockey stick to sweep dirt into a dustpan is much cooler and can make for great exercise. Cleaning up glass is a little trickier, but glass looks a lot like ice giving the process a more authentic feel.
I'm also going to replace my snow brush and ice pick. There's nothing sexy about taking snow and ice off your car. But there will be now, as you stick handle your way down the hood, across the windshields, and against the side mirrors. If you do this while wearing a hockey jersey, you can expect to find yourself on You Tube pretty quickly. And probably with a lot of views.
In keeping with the snow theme, I'm also going to rent my own Zamboni. After all, what are they using them for these days? I'll keep it in my garage, and on those really icy days, I'll use it on the driveway. This will help level out the chips, and I'll be able to create my very own rink. Just think how happy the kids are going to be when they can go ice skating without ever leaving the house.
Referees are people I'm definitely going to miss. There's just something about how those black and white stripes really stand out. As a replacement, I'll tune in to a few hours of Animal Planet and watch the Zebras. The lions in pursuit of their prey can play the role of the fired up coaches that argue the calls made by the zebra refs.
The hardest iconic hockey piece to replace is by far the face-off. It's one of the greatest battles in sports. Mano-a-mano, you stare up at your opponent and give them that nasty stare down. There can only be one winner, and you both dig in your heels and fight to the death for victory. Where else am I going to find that kind of intensity with such great frequency? Oh yeah. I still have my ex-wife.
In the end, I guess there just isn't a cure-all for a hockey lock-out. So today, I will dutifully watch football and secretly dream of grabbing a few turkey legs for sticks and a wish bone for a puck.
Game on.
Family, Food, and Football
As for me, I've always focused on the first two. Because unlike the rest of the free world, I'm just not that into football. In some houses, this belief system would force me into a time-out in the corner, or be relegated to the kitchen and speak to some of the ladies about Rachael Ray, or some reality show on the Food Network. So be it.
I looked forward to Thanksgiving so I could watch hockey. That's right. A Canadian sport. And yes, from that northern country that celebrates Boxing Day instead of Thanksgiving. I'd rather watch two players throw their helmets and gloves off and duke it out rather than watch a guy pummel a helpless player catching a pass in mid-field. Hey, we all have our preferences.
But now, yet again, I will be without hockey on Thanksgiving. For this, I can give thanks to yet another NHL lockout; the second in just eight years. My fear is that this one is going to last well beyond Thanksgiving. I don't think I'll even see a puck drop by Christmas. Therefore, I must prepare for the worst and find different activities that replace the adrenaline rush I used to get from watching these toothless warriors skate around.
The first thing I need to solve is replacing violence in a skating arena. For that, I'm going to You Tube to watch the footage of the Nancy Kerrigan and Tanya Harding incident. Boy, I would love to have seen those two duke it out on the ice. My money's on Tanya.
I've always had an affinity for the goalies in hockey, and you just don't get a chance to see them every day. So, I think I'll download all the Halloween movies so I can see Jason in a classic Ken Dryden mask. I'm going to turn the volume down because he seems much less scary when you can't hear that foreboding music that just says, "look out behind you!"
It's hard to find a reason for people to use a hockey stick beyond, well, hockey. But I have a few ideas to put mine to good use. The first thing is to replace my broom. Brooms get dirty very quickly and cleaning them is even messier. (or should I say Messier?) Using a hockey stick to sweep dirt into a dustpan is much cooler and can make for great exercise. Cleaning up glass is a little trickier, but glass looks a lot like ice giving the process a more authentic feel.
I'm also going to replace my snow brush and ice pick. There's nothing sexy about taking snow and ice off your car. But there will be now, as you stick handle your way down the hood, across the windshields, and against the side mirrors. If you do this while wearing a hockey jersey, you can expect to find yourself on You Tube pretty quickly. And probably with a lot of views.
In keeping with the snow theme, I'm also going to rent my own Zamboni. After all, what are they using them for these days? I'll keep it in my garage, and on those really icy days, I'll use it on the driveway. This will help level out the chips, and I'll be able to create my very own rink. Just think how happy the kids are going to be when they can go ice skating without ever leaving the house.
Referees are people I'm definitely going to miss. There's just something about how those black and white stripes really stand out. As a replacement, I'll tune in to a few hours of Animal Planet and watch the Zebras. The lions in pursuit of their prey can play the role of the fired up coaches that argue the calls made by the zebra refs.
The hardest iconic hockey piece to replace is by far the face-off. It's one of the greatest battles in sports. Mano-a-mano, you stare up at your opponent and give them that nasty stare down. There can only be one winner, and you both dig in your heels and fight to the death for victory. Where else am I going to find that kind of intensity with such great frequency? Oh yeah. I still have my ex-wife.
In the end, I guess there just isn't a cure-all for a hockey lock-out. So today, I will dutifully watch football and secretly dream of grabbing a few turkey legs for sticks and a wish bone for a puck.
Game on.
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