Observations from 2011

This is the longest I've gone between blogs. I don't like to make excuses, but moving, waiting to get a new computer, and general laziness do come to mind.

Nonetheless, I thought it would be great to close out the year with a few observations and lessons learned in 2011:

- If you're unemployed and need to blame someone, "occupy" something. Wall Street was just the beginning.

- Insightful, thought provoking people don't run for President.

- If I had to do it all over again, I would have been a divorce attorney.

- Online dating was created so people could now lie to thousands of people at the same time.

- My parents have finally started embracing technology. They think Atari "pong" is really cool.

- After a marital separation, you love your spouse as much as the Jews like Ahmadinejad.

- The best movie of the year may be a silent film, which should tell you a little about the state of current films.

- Songs by Lady Gaga and Katy Perry sound better when sung by the Chipmunks.

- Between reality television and virtual gaming, some of us no longer recognize fact from fiction.

- Alcoholism is never the answer, but sometimes, it's a decent suggestion.

- Our children are like medication with side effects - they make us feel better, but can cause diarrhea.

- God rested on the 7th day, so men would create football and avoid their wives on Sunday.

- If post offices keep closing, we'll have to create a new moniker for someone "going postal."

- If you use Youtube, Facebook, and Twitter, you can save a bundle on coffee with friends.

- Regularly reading your friend's blogs is the greatest form of charity that you can do.

- I'd like New Year's resolutions if you didn't have to commit to any particular year.

- They play hockey outdoors once a year. Every job should have the same outdoor policy.

- Why take the kids on an expensive trip to Space Mountain at Disney, when you can ride a NYC taxi for five bucks?

- Using FaceTime on an Apple computer can show everyone how great you've been aging

- When life has you by the balls, kick life in his.

- Steve Jobs should have created an app for dying. This way, he could just press the reset button.