Customer Service is quickly going the way of 8-tracks, VHS tapes, and I'll even through in Borders. It's just plain disappeared. Now don't get me wrong, there are still several superstars in the space. Namely USAA insurance and American Express which are staples of the elite.
But in general, as many companies have downsized or finely cut corners to maintain profitability, the first thing to go was any discernible, positive human interaction.
During my latest move, I had two polar opposite experiences with two family owned businesses - - Bob's Discount Furniture and PC Richard and Sons. I'm not into foreboding when I write these blogs, but suffice it to say, good old Bobby didn't exactly win out on this one.
BOBS DISCOUNT FURNITURE
Bobs was a simple purchase - a bedroom set for my daughters which included beds, mattresses, box springs, a dresser and a nightstand. I should have known that I was in trouble when they confirmed delivery for the next day, and then forgot to deliver anything...."the next day." By the way, this harks back to Seinfeld's concept that anyone can make a reservation, however holding it for you was clearly the more important of the two pieces.
Two days later, the order arrived, but without the nightstand. I complained to customer service and they promised that it would arrive the following weekend. And arrive it did. This time in the wrong color. Now, I've been colorblind for years, but even I can't be fooled by a cherry nightstand trying to pass itself off as white. Alright, Bob, let's try this again. Next week. Same bat time, same bat station.
Customer service called the warehouse to ensure that the correct delivery was scheduled for 7AM the next weekend. Bob isn't exactly the first person I want to see on a Saturday, but what the hell, it least it won't ruin my day. But I spoke too soon. The delivery truck did arrive at 7AM. And the nightstand was even in white. There was just one problem. Well, actually, there were three.
Cracks.
I sent it back and called customer service. This is where Bob officially entered the Twilight Zone. I asked for yet another delivery and they told me that I "maxed out." What? Maxed out of what? They said that they couldn't deliver again to the same address. So, let me get this straight. They screwed up 4 times, and 4 strikes and you're out? Well, not quite out.
They offered me another complete bedroom set in exchange! They weren't willing to take another stab at delivering a single piece, a nightstand. Instead, they would come back, disassemble all the previous furniture, take it away, then deliver and assemble another and completely different bedroom set. Huh? Does this seem logical to you? Apparently, it does to Bob.
I told them I was done and wanted a credit. They gave it to me, along with a $100 gift card. That's right, a gift card....so I could do more shopping at a store that I would never go in again even I had to take a leak.
A week later, I heard a Bob's radio commercial featuring Bob himself. He said that with the volume of orders they have, it has to be expected that mistakes will happen once in awhile. Once in awhile? Does 4 mistakes on a single order qualify as "once in awhile/" I guess it's a bad sign when any company allocates advertising towards, "Apology Marketing."
PC RICHARD
During this same move, I decided to buy a decent size television, so the kids and I had something to enjoy in our new home. After mulling through several different models, I decided on a 55" Samsung. The salesperson was very knowledgeable and guided me to the right television and for the right price.
After settling on payment, I asked if they could wheel the television to my car. After a few minutes, they brought it out on a hand truck. They took once look at my Honda Accord, and both the salesperson and the guy from the warehouse broke down with laughter. Hey, I know the Accord wasn't the hottest car on the block, but I never heard it mocked before.
I had to know what was so funny. They said that they thought I had sport utility because for loading a 55" television, an Accord just wasn't going to cut it. There's a reason I never became an engineer, but couldn't remember why. This helped remind me. Apparently, a 55" inch set has a 70" box. Newman!
They said they would arrange delivery with a 48-hour turnaround, but I needed that set by 9AM the next morning. The cable guy was scheduled, and I couldn't cancel. It looked like another fine delivery mess I got myself into.
Instead of waiting for their delivery service to take charge, or even the store manager, the salesperson acted on his own. It was his dinner break. He had about an hour to eat, but offered up his truck to deliver the television that night. I told him that wouldn't be necessary, but he was insistent.
He loaded the set and followed me back to the apartment. He brought the set into the garage and gently laid it down. I offered to pay him. He rejected it. I offered to buy him dinner. He rejected it.
As he drove away, he rolled down the window of his truck and yelled, "enjoy the set!"
It was then that I remembered something that I heard once from PC Richard's upper management. "Every sale leads to the next."
It's something that Bob's should have thought about. There will be several more from me at PC.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Observations from 2011
This is the longest I've gone between blogs. I don't like to make excuses, but moving, waiting to get a new computer, and general laziness do come to mind.
Nonetheless, I thought it would be great to close out the year with a few observations and lessons learned in 2011:
- If you're unemployed and need to blame someone, "occupy" something. Wall Street was just the beginning.
- Insightful, thought provoking people don't run for President.
- If I had to do it all over again, I would have been a divorce attorney.
- Online dating was created so people could now lie to thousands of people at the same time.
- My parents have finally started embracing technology. They think Atari "pong" is really cool.
- After a marital separation, you love your spouse as much as the Jews like Ahmadinejad.
- The best movie of the year may be a silent film, which should tell you a little about the state of current films.
- Songs by Lady Gaga and Katy Perry sound better when sung by the Chipmunks.
- Between reality television and virtual gaming, some of us no longer recognize fact from fiction.
- Alcoholism is never the answer, but sometimes, it's a decent suggestion.
- Our children are like medication with side effects - they make us feel better, but can cause diarrhea.
- God rested on the 7th day, so men would create football and avoid their wives on Sunday.
- If post offices keep closing, we'll have to create a new moniker for someone "going postal."
- If you use Youtube, Facebook, and Twitter, you can save a bundle on coffee with friends.
- Regularly reading your friend's blogs is the greatest form of charity that you can do.
- I'd like New Year's resolutions if you didn't have to commit to any particular year.
- They play hockey outdoors once a year. Every job should have the same outdoor policy.
- Why take the kids on an expensive trip to Space Mountain at Disney, when you can ride a NYC taxi for five bucks?
- Using FaceTime on an Apple computer can show everyone how great you've been aging
- When life has you by the balls, kick life in his.
- Steve Jobs should have created an app for dying. This way, he could just press the reset button.
Nonetheless, I thought it would be great to close out the year with a few observations and lessons learned in 2011:
- If you're unemployed and need to blame someone, "occupy" something. Wall Street was just the beginning.
- Insightful, thought provoking people don't run for President.
- If I had to do it all over again, I would have been a divorce attorney.
- Online dating was created so people could now lie to thousands of people at the same time.
- My parents have finally started embracing technology. They think Atari "pong" is really cool.
- After a marital separation, you love your spouse as much as the Jews like Ahmadinejad.
- The best movie of the year may be a silent film, which should tell you a little about the state of current films.
- Songs by Lady Gaga and Katy Perry sound better when sung by the Chipmunks.
- Between reality television and virtual gaming, some of us no longer recognize fact from fiction.
- Alcoholism is never the answer, but sometimes, it's a decent suggestion.
- Our children are like medication with side effects - they make us feel better, but can cause diarrhea.
- God rested on the 7th day, so men would create football and avoid their wives on Sunday.
- If post offices keep closing, we'll have to create a new moniker for someone "going postal."
- If you use Youtube, Facebook, and Twitter, you can save a bundle on coffee with friends.
- Regularly reading your friend's blogs is the greatest form of charity that you can do.
- I'd like New Year's resolutions if you didn't have to commit to any particular year.
- They play hockey outdoors once a year. Every job should have the same outdoor policy.
- Why take the kids on an expensive trip to Space Mountain at Disney, when you can ride a NYC taxi for five bucks?
- Using FaceTime on an Apple computer can show everyone how great you've been aging
- When life has you by the balls, kick life in his.
- Steve Jobs should have created an app for dying. This way, he could just press the reset button.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Self Storage
Let's not kid ourselves. Money just isn't what it used to be. Many people are unemployed, and if you're lucky enough to still have a job, you're probably doing the work of two people. The housing market is stagnant, and several properties will be forever underwater.
And yet, the malls are packed. It's difficult to get a restaurant reservation during primetime, and new cars are flying off the lots.
Less money breeds more spending? I don't think I've ever seen a better blueprint for financial ruin.
But I refuse to fall into the trap. Corners must be cut; budgets must be slashed. So, I've decided to begin with my housing arrangements. I find myself currently between homes, and rather make a deposit on a pricey condo, I'm going to stay with my furniture...
In my storage facility.
That's right. At just $286/month, even subsidized housing can't compete with me. It's not spacious, but it has everything I need.
First, it's climate controlled. That's very important, especially during the winter months. And because I don't have to pay for utilities, I'm saving a bundle. It's a bummer that I don't have any windows, but thanks to my 24-hour security key card, I can step outside for fresh air any time I want.
It also comes with a sizable garage for my car. Because I'll be the only one staying over, I have plenty of room for my car and other garage staples. If my friends want to visit, there's even plenty of extra space for them.
The key to making this work, however, is the proper preparation. First, you need a reason to have an ample amount of furniture migrate with you. A foreclosure works nicely. An eviction, bankruptcy or old reliable, a divorce. You're suddenly out of the house with plenty of furniture to spare.
As long as you have a couch, coffee table, lamp, small refridgerator, dresser, a bed and a television....you have the makings of an excellent storage facility apartment. Besides, you don't want to overfurnish. You'll be able to invite some guests, but a Super Bowl party is out of the question.
Entertainment can be tricky. You'll have to install a satellite dish on the roof, and indoor Wi-Fi could prove challenging. However, it's probably just a few short months away before Apple creates a new device that will be compatible with a storage facility.
When it comes to hygeine, you'll have full access to the corporate bathroom. And the best part is, no lines. The shower is a tough one, but I would suggest keeping a garden hose with you, which can be installed somewhere outside. If you buy a spray nozzle and elevate the hose, you'll have a makeshift shower head.
It could get somewhat claustrophobic in there, so you'll need to keep the door open at all times. You'll have a picturesque view of all the other storage bins, and sit and wonder what everyone else hides in these things. Nights could get lonely, so it's important to entice others to begin to move in. If not, I would recommend keeping an active social calendar, so you won't have to stay in the bin for long stretches.
I'll be moving in next month. If you're interested, but unable to commit long term, I'd be willing to sub-lease.
I'm planning an open house.
And yet, the malls are packed. It's difficult to get a restaurant reservation during primetime, and new cars are flying off the lots.
Less money breeds more spending? I don't think I've ever seen a better blueprint for financial ruin.
But I refuse to fall into the trap. Corners must be cut; budgets must be slashed. So, I've decided to begin with my housing arrangements. I find myself currently between homes, and rather make a deposit on a pricey condo, I'm going to stay with my furniture...
In my storage facility.
That's right. At just $286/month, even subsidized housing can't compete with me. It's not spacious, but it has everything I need.
First, it's climate controlled. That's very important, especially during the winter months. And because I don't have to pay for utilities, I'm saving a bundle. It's a bummer that I don't have any windows, but thanks to my 24-hour security key card, I can step outside for fresh air any time I want.
It also comes with a sizable garage for my car. Because I'll be the only one staying over, I have plenty of room for my car and other garage staples. If my friends want to visit, there's even plenty of extra space for them.
The key to making this work, however, is the proper preparation. First, you need a reason to have an ample amount of furniture migrate with you. A foreclosure works nicely. An eviction, bankruptcy or old reliable, a divorce. You're suddenly out of the house with plenty of furniture to spare.
As long as you have a couch, coffee table, lamp, small refridgerator, dresser, a bed and a television....you have the makings of an excellent storage facility apartment. Besides, you don't want to overfurnish. You'll be able to invite some guests, but a Super Bowl party is out of the question.
Entertainment can be tricky. You'll have to install a satellite dish on the roof, and indoor Wi-Fi could prove challenging. However, it's probably just a few short months away before Apple creates a new device that will be compatible with a storage facility.
When it comes to hygeine, you'll have full access to the corporate bathroom. And the best part is, no lines. The shower is a tough one, but I would suggest keeping a garden hose with you, which can be installed somewhere outside. If you buy a spray nozzle and elevate the hose, you'll have a makeshift shower head.
It could get somewhat claustrophobic in there, so you'll need to keep the door open at all times. You'll have a picturesque view of all the other storage bins, and sit and wonder what everyone else hides in these things. Nights could get lonely, so it's important to entice others to begin to move in. If not, I would recommend keeping an active social calendar, so you won't have to stay in the bin for long stretches.
I'll be moving in next month. If you're interested, but unable to commit long term, I'd be willing to sub-lease.
I'm planning an open house.
Monday, October 10, 2011
A Job Like No Other
It's rare when I'm affected by the death of a celebrity. Like everyone else, athletes and actors die all the time. We're reminded of this every year during the Academy Awards and Old Timer's Day when they call our attention to the "In Memorium" montage.
I'm saddened for about a minute or so, possibly ask a few friends if they knew that so-and-so died, and then quickly move on.
Steve Jobs died last week. And everything feels different.
He wasn't related to us, and very few had a chance to even meet him. And yet, it felt like you lost a member of your family. In a way, we actually did. Let's face it, we all see our Ipods, Ipads, and Macs every day. We can't make the same claim for most of our cousins, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren. It's sad, but c'mon. Some of these apps are much more entertaining than members of our families.
Steve was a deity. Fans of Apple often looked and sounded like religious disciples. You'd see them on line in front of an Apple store eagerly waiting to be allowed in just to touch the latest Apple device. At an even higher level, we'd watch the media flooding Macworld with baited breath, clamoring to report on the next product launch.
Jobs would walk out on stage, and to many, it was like God appeared. And he was wearing glasses, which made sense because God probably read a lot. It was as if Moses came down from the mountain. Ironically, they both carried tablets. He spoke about the future in a way that no one else could. He told us what we needed in order to move forward. As a people, we listened.
When we look back at what he affected, the results are staggering. The music business, the movie business, publishing, gaming, telecommunications, computer hardware and software. In other words, he touched anything he wanted without having to rest on the seventh day.
Many of us were informed of his death on the devices he created. It seemed fitting and slightly eerie, as if Jobs was communicating from the other side. I read about it on my Ipad. I was asleep on the train. A CNBC alert beeped and I awoke. And although it wasn't a surprise to anyone, it wasn't any less painful.
After all, who's going to guide us forward now? It won't be a President, Warren Buffet, or Oprah. Their is no heir apparent.
When Jobs died, a piece of us died too - - Hope. Somehow, Steve managed to get us through the next season. There would be rumours of new discoveries, there would be rumours about new solutions to problems that were currently unknown. There would be rumours about rumours. And this sustained us. We looked forward to presentations and press conferences; something that rarely happens with our own President. Looking forward to the next announcement harkened back to a simple time, centuries ago, when communities received their news from the town crier.
For a short time, it was nice. Jobs suggested that we "Think Different."
From now on, we'll have to.
I'm saddened for about a minute or so, possibly ask a few friends if they knew that so-and-so died, and then quickly move on.
Steve Jobs died last week. And everything feels different.
He wasn't related to us, and very few had a chance to even meet him. And yet, it felt like you lost a member of your family. In a way, we actually did. Let's face it, we all see our Ipods, Ipads, and Macs every day. We can't make the same claim for most of our cousins, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren. It's sad, but c'mon. Some of these apps are much more entertaining than members of our families.
Steve was a deity. Fans of Apple often looked and sounded like religious disciples. You'd see them on line in front of an Apple store eagerly waiting to be allowed in just to touch the latest Apple device. At an even higher level, we'd watch the media flooding Macworld with baited breath, clamoring to report on the next product launch.
Jobs would walk out on stage, and to many, it was like God appeared. And he was wearing glasses, which made sense because God probably read a lot. It was as if Moses came down from the mountain. Ironically, they both carried tablets. He spoke about the future in a way that no one else could. He told us what we needed in order to move forward. As a people, we listened.
When we look back at what he affected, the results are staggering. The music business, the movie business, publishing, gaming, telecommunications, computer hardware and software. In other words, he touched anything he wanted without having to rest on the seventh day.
Many of us were informed of his death on the devices he created. It seemed fitting and slightly eerie, as if Jobs was communicating from the other side. I read about it on my Ipad. I was asleep on the train. A CNBC alert beeped and I awoke. And although it wasn't a surprise to anyone, it wasn't any less painful.
After all, who's going to guide us forward now? It won't be a President, Warren Buffet, or Oprah. Their is no heir apparent.
When Jobs died, a piece of us died too - - Hope. Somehow, Steve managed to get us through the next season. There would be rumours of new discoveries, there would be rumours about new solutions to problems that were currently unknown. There would be rumours about rumours. And this sustained us. We looked forward to presentations and press conferences; something that rarely happens with our own President. Looking forward to the next announcement harkened back to a simple time, centuries ago, when communities received their news from the town crier.
For a short time, it was nice. Jobs suggested that we "Think Different."
From now on, we'll have to.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Why Animals Don't Need Prozac
Humans are strange animals. Aren't they? We're filled with angst and anxiety that we carry around for years. And by the time we realize how unimportant most of it was, we're probably somewhere between incontinence and a respirator.
Our pets have it much better. And to a certain extent, wild animals have it the best.
But why? Their basic requirements are the same as ours. They need to eat, drink, make, bathe, sleep, and have sex. On the surface, it's a mirror image of our species. Not exactly. What separates them from us is that these simplistic needs are ALL they concern themselves with. Nothing else gets in the way.
Our lists are twice as long. And if you're Jewish, they're even longer.
First, animals never have to worry about money. With the exception of the kangaroo and maybe a koala, none of them have pockets. Without pockets, there's just no room for cash or credit cards. So they don't have any financial worries. Their kids never go to college and retirement plans never enter the picture.
Animals also have the unique benefit of never having to focus on clothes. They don't care about Fashion Week, and last year's style means about as little as this year's. If they have fur, they're always wearing a jacket and if they don't, well, they're in their birthday suits. Fortunately, they don't give a damn. They can walk around naked all day, and nobody sends them to their own beach. They never get arrested.
They also can't talk. That means a few important things. They don't spew racial slurs, they don't argue about politics, and they never bad mouth anybody. If you counted the number of times we did these things, you'd quickly realize that if we didn't, we'd never talk at all.
Animals don't have to worry about keeping up with the Jonses. They don't get extra credit for being in a nicer dog house, a spacious place for hibernation, or the perfect spot in a tree. Location, location, location doesn't apply here. Also, nobody drives. If you don't drive, you can't possibly look at cars as a status symbol. Most wouldn't know a Ford from a Lexus, except maybe deer that would freeze a little more in certain zenon headlights.
They never worry about their health. I haven't met one animal yet that's considers hersrlf a hypochondriac. Even if they have a condition that should concern them, they don't pay attention. I've never seen a tiger worry about incontinence. The birds never worry about flu season. Even if it's the bird flu. Does an elephant ever think about cataracts? Does your dog worry about his first colonoscopy? No chance.
Animals' biggest category of superiority has to be....sex. Animals have sex to breed and perpetuate the species. That's it. Not us. We're at a different level. When was the last zebra that worried about erectile dysfunction? Did the Lion King ever ask his date if it was "good for her?" Did a horse ever worry about being thought of as a slut? Not even Equus. Maybe this is why humans who are good in the sack are referred to as "animals."
Animals are at peace. They don't complain to their friends. They don't get medication from their shrinks. They're just survivors. Animals aren't caught up in nonsense. They keep it simple.
A lesson all humans still need to learn.
Our pets have it much better. And to a certain extent, wild animals have it the best.
But why? Their basic requirements are the same as ours. They need to eat, drink, make, bathe, sleep, and have sex. On the surface, it's a mirror image of our species. Not exactly. What separates them from us is that these simplistic needs are ALL they concern themselves with. Nothing else gets in the way.
Our lists are twice as long. And if you're Jewish, they're even longer.
First, animals never have to worry about money. With the exception of the kangaroo and maybe a koala, none of them have pockets. Without pockets, there's just no room for cash or credit cards. So they don't have any financial worries. Their kids never go to college and retirement plans never enter the picture.
Animals also have the unique benefit of never having to focus on clothes. They don't care about Fashion Week, and last year's style means about as little as this year's. If they have fur, they're always wearing a jacket and if they don't, well, they're in their birthday suits. Fortunately, they don't give a damn. They can walk around naked all day, and nobody sends them to their own beach. They never get arrested.
They also can't talk. That means a few important things. They don't spew racial slurs, they don't argue about politics, and they never bad mouth anybody. If you counted the number of times we did these things, you'd quickly realize that if we didn't, we'd never talk at all.
Animals don't have to worry about keeping up with the Jonses. They don't get extra credit for being in a nicer dog house, a spacious place for hibernation, or the perfect spot in a tree. Location, location, location doesn't apply here. Also, nobody drives. If you don't drive, you can't possibly look at cars as a status symbol. Most wouldn't know a Ford from a Lexus, except maybe deer that would freeze a little more in certain zenon headlights.
They never worry about their health. I haven't met one animal yet that's considers hersrlf a hypochondriac. Even if they have a condition that should concern them, they don't pay attention. I've never seen a tiger worry about incontinence. The birds never worry about flu season. Even if it's the bird flu. Does an elephant ever think about cataracts? Does your dog worry about his first colonoscopy? No chance.
Animals' biggest category of superiority has to be....sex. Animals have sex to breed and perpetuate the species. That's it. Not us. We're at a different level. When was the last zebra that worried about erectile dysfunction? Did the Lion King ever ask his date if it was "good for her?" Did a horse ever worry about being thought of as a slut? Not even Equus. Maybe this is why humans who are good in the sack are referred to as "animals."
Animals are at peace. They don't complain to their friends. They don't get medication from their shrinks. They're just survivors. Animals aren't caught up in nonsense. They keep it simple.
A lesson all humans still need to learn.
Monday, September 19, 2011
The Joy of Text
I'm all for communicating by email. I've even come to tolerate messages sent on Facebook. Skype and Facetime don't seem to bother me either. I don't love Twitter, but I do enjoy some of the "tweets." And I must admit, I still have a nostalgic liking for smoke signals and carrier pigeons.
But I have to draw the line when it comes to our laziest form of communication.
Texting.I
It's not the smiley faces or the LOL's that drive me nuts. It's everything else.
First, any acronym should be expunged immediately. Cute shortcuts like OTL and TTYL are like the Cliffs Notes of the human language. Say what you mean. Sometimes, someone throws one at you that you've never seen before. Then you have to keep guessing until it has some semblance of meaning. At the end, you're exhausted and realize that this episode could have been avoided if one of you would have just picked up the phone.
Next up on the list is the use of the letter "U" and the letter "R". As in the infamous, "How R U?" Geez. How lazy is this crap? Have we gotten to the point where we don't even have time to spell out three letter words? Pretty soon we'll be able to shorten everything and bring back morse code.
And it gets worse.
Some people deem it necessary to confirm plans with a single letter. "K." So let's put this into perspective. Our lives are now moving so fast that we don't even have time to spell out 2-letter words. This decision sits at a level that lies somewhere between ennui and illiteracy. I always wondered what the shortened version of not confirming plans woudl be. "NO K?"
We can't even thank people correctly. Instead, we have to show off our creativity and attempt to express our gratitude in as many different ways as possible. When we thank someone, we can say "Thnx" or "Thks." When we don't like something it "sux." If we really like something, we say it "roks." For some reason, we just can't bring ourselves to add the letter "C."
This brings us to the King, the reigning champion, the crown jewel of texting laziness. It's referred to as "Colon P." It almost sounds dirty or like some test you have to take by leaving a sample in a cup and leaving it on the sink. In reality, the "Colon P" is a symbolic way of showing your displeasure.
:P
To truly decifer its meaning, you're required to turn your head 90 degrees to the left. When you do, you'll see an image of a face with a tongue sticking out. This is classy stuff. Somewhere in the future, the spaceships will land. The aliens will emerge and see our used Blackberrys and think that we must have been a very intelligent species.
Of course, if they came to this conclusion, we'd have to check their intelligence.
Hopefully this made you LOL, or at the the very least, gave you a :)
But I have to draw the line when it comes to our laziest form of communication.
Texting.I
It's not the smiley faces or the LOL's that drive me nuts. It's everything else.
First, any acronym should be expunged immediately. Cute shortcuts like OTL and TTYL are like the Cliffs Notes of the human language. Say what you mean. Sometimes, someone throws one at you that you've never seen before. Then you have to keep guessing until it has some semblance of meaning. At the end, you're exhausted and realize that this episode could have been avoided if one of you would have just picked up the phone.
Next up on the list is the use of the letter "U" and the letter "R". As in the infamous, "How R U?" Geez. How lazy is this crap? Have we gotten to the point where we don't even have time to spell out three letter words? Pretty soon we'll be able to shorten everything and bring back morse code.
And it gets worse.
Some people deem it necessary to confirm plans with a single letter. "K." So let's put this into perspective. Our lives are now moving so fast that we don't even have time to spell out 2-letter words. This decision sits at a level that lies somewhere between ennui and illiteracy. I always wondered what the shortened version of not confirming plans woudl be. "NO K?"
We can't even thank people correctly. Instead, we have to show off our creativity and attempt to express our gratitude in as many different ways as possible. When we thank someone, we can say "Thnx" or "Thks." When we don't like something it "sux." If we really like something, we say it "roks." For some reason, we just can't bring ourselves to add the letter "C."
This brings us to the King, the reigning champion, the crown jewel of texting laziness. It's referred to as "Colon P." It almost sounds dirty or like some test you have to take by leaving a sample in a cup and leaving it on the sink. In reality, the "Colon P" is a symbolic way of showing your displeasure.
:P
To truly decifer its meaning, you're required to turn your head 90 degrees to the left. When you do, you'll see an image of a face with a tongue sticking out. This is classy stuff. Somewhere in the future, the spaceships will land. The aliens will emerge and see our used Blackberrys and think that we must have been a very intelligent species.
Of course, if they came to this conclusion, we'd have to check their intelligence.
Hopefully this made you LOL, or at the the very least, gave you a :)
Sunday, September 11, 2011
9/11.....a thought process
Ten years ago, sitting in a downtown office in New York City, I had many thoughts running through my head.
The first of which was trying to process the enormity of what had just happened. Hijacks, terrorist suicide, crash landings, and an act of war were all words and phrases that circled the wagon otherwise known as my eyes.
So now I was half way home. I knew what I was thinking as it related to the day's events. Now it was time to move on to the other half. What were the perpetrators thinking?
Yes, I eventually figured out that the terrorists wanted to use our own planes against us, destroy national landmarks, and wreak havoc on several thousand lives as well. But as the weeks began to pass, I found myself once again asking, "what were they thinking?"
Did these trained assassins and their leaders not think that there would be retribution? Did they not think that it would bring our nation together in complete unity? (at least for awhile anyway). Could they not surmise that we would eventually win the game of hide and seek and find their militant masterminds? Or that these events wouldn't force the improvement of our security personnel?
I couldn't know for sure. In fact, I still don't. Because the attacks from a decade ago still seem unfathomable to us all.
Today we commemorate and honor those who fought and lost their lives 10 years ago. We do this with flowers, processions, and speeches not only at Ground Zero, but in small towns and communites across the country.
At the most symbolic site of all, buildings have once again risen. A pool glistens with a continuous flow of water, symbolic of the memories of those we lost, forever alive in our collective consciousness. The names of the deceased are emblazoned in stone all around this pool, once a pool of blood, and now of water. Families snapped photographs of the names of their loved ones, and some even used paper to trace them, so they had a version at home as well.
Politicians arrived but left politics behind. Religion was absent from the ceremonies with the only reference at all being, "God Bless America." The media broadcasts had more moments of silence than moments of commentary.
Just what were the terrorists thinking now? Ten years later, we came together as one yet again. The city rebuilt and so did many companies, fire stations, and families. The buildings rose once more and so did we. Because that's what this country does. It remembers, it heals, and it moves forward.
Whatever your thoughts are today, make them proud. And let's hope that next time terrorists plan to think....they do it twice.
The first of which was trying to process the enormity of what had just happened. Hijacks, terrorist suicide, crash landings, and an act of war were all words and phrases that circled the wagon otherwise known as my eyes.
So now I was half way home. I knew what I was thinking as it related to the day's events. Now it was time to move on to the other half. What were the perpetrators thinking?
Yes, I eventually figured out that the terrorists wanted to use our own planes against us, destroy national landmarks, and wreak havoc on several thousand lives as well. But as the weeks began to pass, I found myself once again asking, "what were they thinking?"
Did these trained assassins and their leaders not think that there would be retribution? Did they not think that it would bring our nation together in complete unity? (at least for awhile anyway). Could they not surmise that we would eventually win the game of hide and seek and find their militant masterminds? Or that these events wouldn't force the improvement of our security personnel?
I couldn't know for sure. In fact, I still don't. Because the attacks from a decade ago still seem unfathomable to us all.
Today we commemorate and honor those who fought and lost their lives 10 years ago. We do this with flowers, processions, and speeches not only at Ground Zero, but in small towns and communites across the country.
At the most symbolic site of all, buildings have once again risen. A pool glistens with a continuous flow of water, symbolic of the memories of those we lost, forever alive in our collective consciousness. The names of the deceased are emblazoned in stone all around this pool, once a pool of blood, and now of water. Families snapped photographs of the names of their loved ones, and some even used paper to trace them, so they had a version at home as well.
Politicians arrived but left politics behind. Religion was absent from the ceremonies with the only reference at all being, "God Bless America." The media broadcasts had more moments of silence than moments of commentary.
Just what were the terrorists thinking now? Ten years later, we came together as one yet again. The city rebuilt and so did many companies, fire stations, and families. The buildings rose once more and so did we. Because that's what this country does. It remembers, it heals, and it moves forward.
Whatever your thoughts are today, make them proud. And let's hope that next time terrorists plan to think....they do it twice.
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