Toy Story Equals Toy Storage

I'm convinced that my kids were the last to see "Toy Story" and "Toy Story 2." My two holdouts finally joined the rest of the country and watched both films on the Disney Channel double feature last weekend.

So I asked them what they thought, assuming that they'd talk about how great the animation was, or that they had a crush on Woody and Buzz Lightyear. Instead, I got something unexpected.

They both said that they felt bad for the toys, and have made a collective decision to never throw any of them away.

Great. Just what I need. I've been trying to take back closet and basement space for the last few years to no avail, and now I have to contend with Pixar? You can't beat Pixar. They're even stronger than Disney. Their stories always have powerful morals that affect both kids and adults alike. "Ratatouille" showed that even the harshest critics can be tamed by vivid childhood memories. 'Wall-E' demonstrated the importance of maintaining a clean environment and a healthy, active lifestyle. Most recently, "Up" showed us all that true love lasts forever and conquers all obstacles. So what kind of match am I going to be for "Toy Story 3?"

A committment to never throw away any toys. What are they nuts? Do I really need to keep the Piglet and Winnie the Pooh stuffed animals now that they idolize Hannah Montana and iCarly? And what about that oversized Bam-Bam looking baseball bat they used to hit their first wiffle ball? And that slinky? It always worked better on the steps in the commercial than it ever did on mine. I'll have to get a bigger house with more storage space and higher real estate taxes just so their High School Musical dolls will have a permanent place to rehearse.

I don't know how Pixar does it. To make us become emotionally attached to characters like robots, rats, a crotchety old man, and a Mr. Potato Head is quite an achievement. And it's expensive to the consumer.

In advance of my daughter's birthday, I bought her the complete set of action figures from "Toy Story 3." When I swiped my credit card, I thought of the joy this will give her in advance of the new film's release. Then I froze and came to a frightening realization.

Now I'll be holding onto these new toys forever. My problem is multiplying and it's purely self-inflicted. I'm hoping that one day Pixar makes a film about a Garbage Man with a clear message that it's good to throw things away in large plastic Hefty bags or recyclable cans.

Maybe I should start writing the script.