Bored Games

Thinking back to my own childhood, I remember how the names Parker Brothers and Milton Bradley were responsible for bringing the family together. I used to look forward to SORRY, Connect 4, Yahtzee, or Uno. I'd make fun of my brother when I'd send his blue piece back to START with a well timed SORRY card, trick my Mom with a diagonal play in the middle of Connect 4, and enjoyed the thrill of pulling victory from my Father with a Draw 4 card in Uno. They were simple games for all ages and an excuse for the family to spend quality time before the era of DVRs and iPods.

So when I became a Father, I was excited to pass these board games onto my kids. I went to Target and Toys R Us and even bought the updated versions so there wouldn't be any missing pieces like I had with my own. And for a few years, I was able to continue the tradition that was passed on to me by my parents.

My kids used to look forward to weekends when I had time to play these games. But recently there's been a dramatic change. I was home last weekend and needed to watch my 9 year-old for about an hour. My wife set up a stack of games on the kitchen table and suggested we play a few while she ran an errand. Without hesitation, my daughter said, "I don't want to play any of these! They're boring!"

Boring?! I've been playing some version of these games for over 35 years, and my daughter is bored at 9?

I'm 42, and I still look forward to kicking butt in Monopoly. I will concede that the electronic versions of some of these games are far superior to tokens and cardboard, but that's what gave them their special charm. But in the age of Blackberry's, iPads, and Garmins, I didn't want so sound like an old bastard. So I let it go.

I managed to get over it until I saw my kids watching a new channel from Discovery Kids called, The HUB. It's not that they were watching their usual fare of cartoons and kids reality shows. This was something new. A game show. And not just any game show. It was actually called "Family Game Night." Hosted by a former reporter from E!, the show revolved around competing families who were engaged in life size versions of the classic board games. The channel is even partly owned by Hasbro!

To make matters worse, they used all the classics - - Scrabble, Operation, Yahtzee, Sorry, Connect 4, Boggle, and even Twister. Both kids couldn't keep their eyes off the screen. What kind of crap is this? They don't want to play these games with me, but they're willing to watch other people play them on TV? Maybe it was the cash prizes they dole out. Would I have to start paying them to roll the Yahtzee die?

I sat there wondering what would be next. Would they stop reading books with me and soon watch the Kindle Channel? Would they throw out their dolls and play with virtual ones on the computer?

Look,I'm all for game shows, but predominantly when they're educational, and my kids can actually learn something. When networks like The HUB begin to take away the simplicity of childhood, I have to draw the line. Although, it is a losing cause. I sat for awhile and decided to strike back. It came in the version of an idea for a network pitch.

It's called The Daddy Channel. Programs include "Taking Your Kids for Ice Cream", "Driving to Soccer Practice", and "Giving Out an Allowance." They could watch other kids living their lives and spending time with their Fathers, while I sit in the other room and watch sports on TV.

I think this could be a ratings hit. Now if I could only get Nickelodeon to listen.