Naming Rights.....and Wrongs

Is your name your destiny? Not for all of us. I've been through many serenades of "Rowe, Rowe, Rowe, your boat," but not once did I feel the desire to join the Navy, go out for crew, or train to become a Pirate.

However, there are several notables whose careers and actions have literally been shaped by inheriting their parents' last names. The most recent phenomenon is Amy Winehouse.

I've never found humor in the demise of an addict, but this one defies gravity. Amy "Winehouse" had an alcohol problem. Let's call it a big problem. To add salt to the wound or to the margarita, her first hit single was entitled, "Rehab." The lyrics even said:

"They tried to make me go to rehab, I said, no, no no."

I wish she would have gone. But seemingly, she was doomed from the start. She was a Winehouse.

Politicians are just as prone to the curse of the surname. Next up is a guy who takes lewd pictures of himself in his boxer shorts, and not much else. Then, he posts them on the internet specifically for young girls to see. Is it possible for a guy like this to be named anything else other than "Weiner?" If he thought ahead, he would have removed himself from the ballot earlier in his career and refocused his energies on getting a job at Nathan's or Hebrew National.

Wall Street is not immune either. Let's face it. How could a money manager take your funds and purport to return exactly 10% for over twenty consecutive years? Recessions, inflation, 9/11, oil crisis....it doesn't matter. You get 10%. Nobody asked any questions. At least not until the emergence of a virtual unknown named Madoff who admitted that he built his grandiose lifestyle by illegally "making off" with his clients' money.

Overweight comedic actors have last names like "Candy." (John) Baseball players have first names like "Homer" (Bush) and powerful members of Congress have last names like "Armey". (Dick) Hockey players have actually been named, "Playfair" (Larry)

Think about your own last names and see if you've missed your calling. Based on a just a small sample of my own Facebook contacts which include a "Schaefer", a "Mehr", and a "Berger", there should be a brewer, a politician, and a fast food franchise owner just ready to rear their heads.