Who passes on EZ-Pass?

The Summer is meant for driving. Driving with the window down and the radio on (that would be satellite radio) cruising the crowded roads. Unfortunately, more cars means more traffic. But don't worry. We all have EZ-Pass.

Well, don't we? It only costs $1 per month; a small price to pay for staying mobile through a toll.

But everytime I find myself navigating into the assigned EZ Pass lane, I wind up passing a huge line-up of cars on either side. There are people actually reaching for their wallets, or rummaging through their glove compartments for spare change. And these lanes barely move.

These people represent the final hold-outs. Drivers who took a stand in protest by claiming:

"I will not place adhesives on my windshield."
"I never gave up Disco, so why would I start paying my tolls differently?"

I've always wondered. Who are these people? Why are they content to sit in a line like morons, while every other car on the road breezes by them? Without a budget for exhaustive research, I can only provide my own anecdotal evidence. These drivers must come from just a small group of the general population:

1- People in witness protection programs. This makes logical sense. You wouldn't want to give anyone your address, especially a state run agency.

2- Criminals. If you're wanted in any state, you certainly wouldn't want the GPS quality of an EZ-Pass getting in your way.

3- Lonely people. After all, there's nothing social about flying through the toll lane. But when you pay cash, think of all the fun you can have with the toll collector.

4- Dummies. These people are all around you, and "if you see something, say something."

You can't blame EZ-Pass for trying. They didn't just roll over. Instead, they stepped up their game with a second generation product - - Express EZ-Pass. Now, instead of hitting the brakes to insure that your EZ-Pass registers, you can keep your speed and breeze through like Lightning McQueen. This was golden. Who wouldn't want to save valuable time on their trip?

Well, this didn't work either. To this day, thousands of cars would rather slow down than speed up. I think it says something about our personalities. EZ-Pass? High energy, Type A, driven personality. No EZ-Pass? Lethargic, unmotivated, and no ambition.

Imagine if we could use the existence of EZ-Pass as a way to select people for dates or job interviews? "How long have you had EZ-Pass?" "Where do you see it in 5 years?"

I hope as you read this, you're already a member of the EZ-Pass tribe. If not, drive through life at your own risk.