Pump You Full of Unleaded

By now, we're all aware of the the wild spike in gas prices. If you fill up your tank at least once a week, the new monthly cost is now equivalent to leasing a BMW, a Mercedes, or an Audi. The irony, of course, is that the car you're filling with gas is most likely not one of these vehicles. Of course, I don't speak for all.

 The causes of this spike have been somewhat of a debatable issue of late. Some fall back on basic supply and demand. However, most analysts and pundits have proclaimed that this rather simplistic economic position is not currently the culprit. So then, our politicians move on to the next theory - - Fear of Shortages. That's right. We don't actually have a supply issue now, but if if we bomb Iran, well, then all bets are off. In fact, if anyone bombs Iran, all bets are off. So just the mere threat of this activity should cause gas prices to rise. But this has also been refuted. Energy experts say Iran's oil supply could literally go out of business, and there would still be enough to go around.

Which brings us to the last and final possibility. This one falls squarely on Wall Street. Chronicled both in the Wall St. Journal and CNBC, the suggestion states now that the traders no longer have real estate to push around, they moved back into their old reliable money maker - the manipulation of oil futures. The sheer complexity of this is hard to imagine. Individual firms drive up the price of a barrel of oil, so they can show significant profits for themselves and their managing directors.

No matter what the reason is for $4 plus per gallon, there's only one entity that gets screwed. And if you haven't noticed, that would be you. And you're just the beginning. The trickle down moves forward to include car dealers who suddenly can't move large sport utilities off their lots. The airlines dramatically raise their prices because their costs have gone up. In turn, hotels suffer. Specific retailers are the next to take a hit because consumers have less disposable income. And the bad news just keeps rolling downhill.

So, after I thought that I factored in all that can be affected by sky high gas prices, I discovered another that I would never have considered. Ironically, this one happened at the gas pump itself. Down to less than a quarter of tank on my mid-sized Honda Accord, I arrived at a station, and asked the attendant to "filler up". The final cost was almost $60. Holy crap. He quoted the price by saying, "60 dollars, my friend." I said, "for $60, I don't know if I can call you my friend." He laughed and told me that this fare was cheap compared with an earlier arrival of a Cadillac Escalade that took $148 to top off! Then, I laughed. But then he became serious. He said that there was another victim in this current gas crisis. Himself. So, he relayed a story from last night. Two teens were hiding in the bushes, and waited for a quiet period; the perfect time to strike. They approached his booth, flashed 2 guns and asked him to get out. Then, they pressed the guns up to his head. Trying to stay calm, he said that he didn't want any trouble and suggested that he vacate the station so they could take anything they wanted. He ran to a house across the street for shelter and the teens did indeed take "anything they wanted." The police came, but unfortunately...too little, too late. He told me that once gas goes over $4 per gallon, thieves naturally assume that the attendants have more money on hand. And they're right. So now, the gas attendants count as another addition to the long list of pawns emanating from high gas prices.

So when will it end? When can attendants feel safe to do their jobs, and families have enough money to travel regularly and spend money? It's anyone's guess. But you know what would be great? For just one weekend, I'd love to see everyone walk. Just walk everywhere. Go to your playdates, the gym, the mall, the grocery store, and just walk. We'll call it a "Forrest Gump" weekend. The streets would be flooded with people. You may actually talk to you neighbors. And the gas stations would be empty. A crazy thought, but it's very doable.

But before you officially leave your car in the garage, just make sure to make one more stop. At Sports Authority. And buy yourself a new pair of running shoes.