The Yankees Stink

I've been a Yankee fan for as long as I remember throwing a baseball to my Father.   In fact, it was my Father who wisely introduced me to the rich and storied sports history that defines this franchise.

And as a fan, I've bought a host of different Yankees memorabilia over the years.  I have a series of different caps, a wide collection of baseball cards, drawers full of shirts, old scorecards, miniature bats, yearbooks, and old newspapers outlining specific championship seasons.

With that said, and after over 30 years as a Bronx faithful, I was pretty convinced that I either had or had seen everything that the Yankees could stick their logo on.   Until now.

The Yankees have just launched a new cologne.   That's right.  And not just for men.   They have something for the ladies as well.  After several World Series wins, The Yankees finally have their own fragrance.   But did they really need one?  Did the fans ask for this?   Was cologne the one black hole in the Yankees souvenir catalogue?

I haven't made my way over to Macy's yet to get a whiff, but I can't even imagine what it smells like.  Well, maybe I can.   There are endless possibilities.

At the lowest extreme, it would smell like the players after an extra inning game.   So some mellifluous combination of sweat, dirt, black anti-sun glare, and tobacco.   That should make the ladies jump all over you like an Axe deodorant commercial.    More likely, the faint smell of Yankee sweat will have the opposite affect, and repel like a roach motel, sending women scurrying for the exits.

So let's be more optimistic.   Maybe they chose the smell of the ballpark itself.   You know it.  That unmistakable pungent smell of peanuts, crackerjack, and Budweiser.  This should be a big hit with the ladies bottles.   After all, men like to eat snacks while drinking beer, so if you can reproduce this odor in the bedroom, it sounds like a real winner.

They also may have gone a more rugged route.   If you mix the pine tar from the bats with the resin on the pitcher's mound, and add just a hint of leather, you get a manly mix of baseball that quite frankly, could rival the raw hide of any cowboy.   And considering how well cowboys sold Marlboro cigarettes over the years, maybe the Yankees are on to something big.

Call me crazy, but I just don't have a lot of faith in this glorified Yankees temporary keepsake that you'll need to keep buying every few months.  And I certainly hope that they didn't put as much thought into it as I have.   But maybe there was a very easy way to insure success.

Find out what cologne Derek Jeter wears......then slap a Yankee label on the bottle.