Recalculating

The GPS device was built for men. We never liked to ask for directions anyway, so why not have a computer with full satellite reception lead us around? And it certainly beats looking for the North Star.

Personally, I've always been partial to Garmin over Tom Tom. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it's because the natural default voice is female, and I simply never trusted guys named Tom, or people whose first and last names were identical.

But more than anything else, I love the intuitive nature of the device. The Garmin knows where you are at all times. If you program it to bring you from point A to point B, it always constructs the shortest route. And perhaps it's greatest asset is its ability to quickly surmise that you've strayed off course and quickly "recalculates" to get you back on the straight and narrow. It truly is one of the few products I've purchased (more than once) that actually performs as promised.

Now it's time for Garmin to take the next step and move beyond driving directions. We need a GPS device that goes a significant step further. One that guides us through life. It would even be called the Garmin Life. Instead of plugging in street names, or doing searches for the nearest movie theater or gas station, this Garmin would be filled with advice on critical life choices.

So first, you plug in, "Career." A series of alphabetical choices would pull up in a drop down menu- Accountant, Babysitter, Consultant, Doctor.....and all the way down the line until we get to Zoologist. You graduate from college, put on the Garmin Life and pick a career. The Garmin then operates much the same as it does now. It gives you direction, estimates how fast your're traveling down your career "path", and approximates your time of arrival. The user is advised to follow the Garmin as instucted. But if you select the wrong medical scholol, or the wrong company to launch your career, the Garmin reverts back to the all too familiar, "recalculating." and gets you back on course.

There would also be a section for "Real Estate." How many times have we exhaustively searched for that house or condo, onlyto find that we were outbid or were dealing with an unscrupulous broker. Well, not to fear any more. The Garmin Life will follow the trends and search the neighborhoods by satellite, until finally finding you the perfect place to live. It may not even be in the town you thought you would settle in, but it will be close. And the Garmin Life will save you from a real estate buyer's greatest fear - - buying the Money Pit.

The most complex function of the Garmin Life, will be in the "Relationship" section. Similar to some of the more popular or unpopular dating sites, you would have choices for gender, hair color, personality, height, weight, profession, etc. Single people would simply get in their cars and the GPS would take them directly to where their matches are. It could guide you to bars, restaurants, offices, or even to someone's house. Think of the time it would save! If the other party also used a Gamin Lite which ironically lead them to you, then you've got yourself a winner my friends.

The new Garmin Life would also be your guide when deciding on a doctor for all forms of medicine. The "Medical" section would help with finding a good local pediatrician, a dentist, urologist, cardiologist, and surgeon. Thanks to Garmin's online updates, we'll have lifetime intel on malpractice suits, retirements, performance in medical school and more. Even if we get a top referral from a friend who proudly claims that "my guy is the best," the Garmin will recalculate if it knows something that your friend doesn't.

I don't want you to think that I'm not sympathetic to how this device would affect other businesses. It would really kill the fortune teller conglomerates. There would be thousands of palms that would go unread and lifelines gone unidentified. The crystal ball business would crumble and ouija boards would suddenly be all over Ebay.

But like the 8-track tape, the typewriter, and the VCR, there will always be some casualties in the face of growing technology.